This is the story of Ber. Ber was a big pessimist, always shouted "the market is crashing, the market is crashing!". One day Ber bought so many puts, he was full port. "This time" he thought. Low and behold the market started to crash! "I knew it!" Ber shouted with glee. Ber would be rich and all of Bers dreams would come true. Society would collapse and his profits would be meaningless. Then suddenly, in a move no one could have possibly seen coming (except everyone), the market reversed, hard, flying to all time highs absolutely crushing Ber, leaving him homeless and in shambles. "Manipulation!!!" Ber screamed. "Fake, fraudulent market, these valuations are too high, this is literally impossible!!".
And all the Bols lived happily ever after.
The end.